>How is all codependency unhealthy?
>From an anthropological standpoint, all of human nature is built on codependency with the other members of your tribe.
Dependency is very human.
Let me tell you about Skunkie. Skunkie is my stuffed animal friend. He's always there for me, always ready to cuddle when I need him. I am dependent on Skunkie. As a result, Skunkie can not have much of an independent identity. Skunkie can not change or grow. If Skunkie, say, liked ice hockey, he might not be available to me when watching a game, or practicing, or whatever. With actual people, dependency can prevent a person from having a independent identity which can prevent growth.
Now, all humans have some dependencies. A baby is dependent on her mother (or father, etc.). A mother's identity therefore is in some part dependent on her relationship to the baby, and what she can be in addition to mother is limited by the infant's dependency. Is that a bad thing? Not necessarily. Dependency is bad when it inhibits growth -- if a person is happy as a mother or father, it's fine. Also, an infant needs to be dependent, and it is through the dependency that the baby grows.
Now back to relationships. Does the co-dependency of relationships prevent people from growing? In some cases I think it does. But like the infant, is some dependency necessary? Can relationships sometimes promote growth? I don't know.
All I really know is that when I see people in a relationship, I have...mixed feelings. I have trouble being fully happy for those people. The feeling is subjective -- something inside of me, and I don't completely understand the cause.